There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize