and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
