I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize