How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
