I'm going to jail i love you
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
