Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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