you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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