I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
