Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
