my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
