Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
