So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
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Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
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I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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