I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
