he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
