one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
