He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
