I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
