Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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