Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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