Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just took my morning after pill in the library
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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