I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
