I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize