Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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