we have pet lesbian snakes
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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