imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
