no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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