yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
