Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
