is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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