I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he thought i was a dude.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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