at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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