I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
