I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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