She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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