Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
