We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize