You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
