that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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