those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
