so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
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wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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