that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
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She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
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I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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