i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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