so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just blew my weed a kiss
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.