You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
