my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
