jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
