Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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