If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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