Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
