If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Your cock deserves a montage
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
