Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
