i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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