omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
