So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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