every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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