There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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