I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
