Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
