i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
