So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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