I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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