The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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