this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
