I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
